Leftovers from Zia’s

There are some common occurrences that you encounter growing in an Italian family. One of them in particular is that prior to the gathering, if you are hosting, is the stress that there might not be enough food. And as expected, at the end of the night, all 13 of you and your cousins walk out of the house with a Tupperware full of food. Like in many other cultures, food is a symbol of love and care in our families. 

I gave my first talk on DBT and borderline personality disorder at our clinical case rounds in graduate school. I had three goals for my presentation: 1) to help my colleagues to grow the compassion I had developed for people who have been severely impacted by traumatic experiences, 2) to share with them how this training and experienced helped me to grow through my own emotional challenges, and 3) how both of those experiences combined could help to make us better and more effective clinicians. I wanted to convey how our experiences can impact us profoundly, and that people living with severe interpersonal challenges can be understood, but not if we haven’t taken the time to understand ourselves. 

When we have enough for ourselves, it makes it easier to give to others. My experience learning about and supporting people through trauma has taught me that we have to be able to practice self-compassion and self-awareness to be able to share with others.